Subject : God is on My Side

Posted Date: : Oct 8, 2005 1:45 AM

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Subject : The Sky

Posted Date: : Oct 7, 2005 3:28 AM

The Sky

The worst part of hell you see when you die

Is through all the flames, you can see the sky

Angels flying over like all birds fly

Every time I see heaven, it makes me cry

Still through tears of sulfur, I find the eyes

I find the eyes to somehow write

I canít see the words but by-and-by

I know the paperís no longer white

Just a letter to God to read above

Written with tears and signed with blood

An angel flew down to collect the prayers

ìCould you take my letter way up there?î

It says I love you and itís to the Lord

It says Iím sorry and some other words

It makes a promise, the words are sworn

She looked at me like sheís heard it all before

Thereís a thing about chances and when you havenít one

You feel itís over before itís begun

I couldíve done things different, but so could everyone

Thatís just something you lose after the things are done

The next day the angel came unto me

Singing Amen so gracefully

She gave me a letter addressed to me

Then flew to where she was supposed to be

My tears were black and poured like rain

Even with the joy, my tears would pain

I knew Heíd write back even with my shame

But I was surprised that He knew my name

He told me He loved me and thatís all it said

Sometimes youíre alive even when youíre dead

I saw tears on my letter from high above

It was written with tears and signed with love

I knew in hell, I could rise no more

Iíd never again get to see the Lord

Still I have a chance for what itís worth

For my hell is here, right here on earth

The hell Iíve made wonít let me die

It only lets me see the sky

Subject : Eleven After All

Posted Date: : Oct 6, 2005 2:28 AM

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Subject : Where I Stand

Posted Date: : Oct 5, 2005 3:02 PM

Where I Stand

So violently peaceful, I stand here in pain

Or am I standing in love- or are they the same

Never any answers, just many questions

Is love supposed to hurt as Im hurting again

So peacefully violent like the most perfect storm

So much cold I must hold just to stay warm

And as I sit here alone, I stand on my own

Everyone around me with their hearts like a stone

Stones that Im holding as Im falling in love

Drowning in this heavenly hell that Im dreaming of

Whether its love or its pain or one in the same

So violently peaceful, I stand here again

And still theres no place that Id rather be

Then bruised here and beaten for all those to see

And they see me alone with a smiling face

So violently peaceful, I stand in this place

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Subject : Maria

Posted Date: : Oct 3, 2005 5:58 AM

Maria

I asked her the time

When first we met

The only time Iíd not regret

Now I see that timeís escaped us now

Before our sun had ever set

So broke and beaten so far down

And still they beat while on their own

My clock and heart upon the ground

And Iím just here alone

To wonder what of all our time

That I had never known

The clock and heart upon the ground

As both arenít mine to own

So now I walk through a time

Without my silhouette

Shadows too have left my side

Like everything Iíd get

Now I walk in desertís sun

As Iím trying to forget

But the sun seems like

For right now

Like it doesnít want to set

Vultures flying over me,

The low ensuing threat

But Iím telling them as I tell you

That my heartís not ready yet

Still I live with wounds my everyday

That Iím trying to forget

All the sand just slips away

The hourglass we set

But the broken glass on which we lay

Is your only regret

I find myself

On the wrong side

Of the dayís nine to five

I work all night so I might

Have a chance to survive

While still alive, I feel I die

As I fall asleep at dawn

I die alive, as I find that I

Canít keep going on

My sun now shines within a storm

But at least it shines Iíve thought

As I wake and leave

Just like before

For you are all Iíve got

And still I wear the same exact

Clothes that I had worn

All of this

Just to hear you say

You donít love me anymore

And still my heart

Still it beats

Just like the clock thatís broken on the floor

You tore it down

From the wall

So long ago before

And now we canít

Ever tell

The time that weíd ignore

But thatís not all

I long to know

As I too lie broke upon the floor

Her nameís Maria

But I recall

I used to call her mine

So now Iím here

As I wonder

What happened to our time?

Sheís standing here

Beside me

About to jump from it all

It seems we fall in love so often

That we just love to fall

But I say sheíd take

More than hers

Sheíd take the life of mine

She says she thinks

She wants to die

But sheís all thatís on my mind

I thought I was

Nothing but

Maria says Iím life

Now I too might

Have something, I

Iíve gotta reassess my life

So the broken clockís

Thrown on the floor

Thereís other ways for time

I think itís time for no more pain

As all your pain is mine

I think itís time

Weíve fixed it all

To fix our love in time

So broke and beaten so far down

And still we beat while on our own

You and I upon the ground

As weíre lying here alone

To wonder what of all our time

That we had never known

The broken clockís upon the ground

The clock is all alone

For in our eyes, we realize

We shouldnít be on our own

Itís not living life weíve realized

If you have to live a life alone

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Subject : Falling Stars

Posted Date: : Sep 29, 2005 12:53 PM

Falling Stars

Looking at the sky with you by my side

Makes me wonder why Iím even looking at all

My head so very high just looking at the sky

Waiting for a star to fall

But thereís nothing to wish for with you by my side

Youíve made all my wishes come true

The only reason why Iím looking at the sky

Is so I can spend just a little more time with you

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Subject : I Close My Eyes to the Skies

Posted Date: : Sep 28, 2005 10:41 AM

People break my heart like itís a fortune cookie

But thereís no fortune in me

Itís not so fortunate I see

Thereís no one in front of me

I bleed and I need till my thoughts are dead

I need a creed like I need a hole in my head

So what if Heís something more than I have said

In my darkest dreams I call prayers in bed

Close my eyes to the skies that I would dread

If I ever made it to the Heaven inside my head

To be in loveís nothing more than what some dreamer said

After waking next to someone who was in his bed

Another day, another way I find to lie here dead

The monotony is more than just inside my head

By the phone, so alone and itís not my fault

Rejectionís the hardest thing but still I fought

A million to one are the odds to find

A love of someone for all of time

And thinking youíre the one out of all who came

Is exactly what drives you insane

Left for dead, like I said while Iím still alive

Absolutely the worst way I can survive

Only when naÔve I smile, so naÔve Iíll be

While all the while I know she wonít call me

But denial is a place I try to never be

As I try to never fall in love again

I love the sin that Iím in that Iím not below

Heaven is a place Iím trying to never go

Not if itís the one that Iíve heard of

With love abound

Loveís done nothing but hurt me now

So far from heaven, I lie upon the ground

For not even a heavenly love can cure me now

Subject : The Color of Sky

Posted Date: : Sep 24, 2005 5:36 AM

The Color of Sky

The color of sky The color of skin

The sky turns from black to white again

This paradox that weíre living in

Never should have been

This prisoness box weíve put ourselves in

This prison seems to be my true home

Essentially free but itís not what it seems

Weíve put these bars up on our own

Catch 22ís and contradictions fill our empty lives

Living to die means we die to survive

The double-edged sword is the childís only toy

Tried as a man but just a boy

You say to me, ìtry to understand, itís just a figure of speechî

But I say heís either a boy or man, heís not a nigger to me

And still these words are meaningless, we do more harm to ourselves

Thereís better ways to heaven than putting yourself through hell

We want it better but so ironically

The chronic is what we spend our money on

So oxymoronically, we reject the learned

Weíre so right we canít see weíre wrong

The slavish mentality and still weíre mentally strong

To slave their morality but now ours too is gone

Still the enslaved society is what made us physically strong

I recall when our times be lasting so long

But now it seems our timeís almost gone

You can hate anyone you want You can feel so alone

But I assure you that our only enemyís our own

And it was never enough although I had given my all

And I was forced to tell you that thatís all I could give

But now weíve put our own backs so hard on the wall

Where we must fight for peace and die to live

I want to escape from the shackles within

The sky turns from white to black again

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Subject : Carolina

Posted Date: : Sep 21, 2005 4:57 AM

Carolina

I used to mind you being so shy

Only because I wanted to know you more

I used the time- the time we had

Before you walked out the door

To try somehow to know you more

Are you still mine

Iím questioning why

Through the answers that no one knows

But the greatest question of mine

Is ìDoes the sun shine when my eyes are closed?î

But whether theyíre opened or I close them to dream

Since the beginning, you were all I could see

Just a pale-skinned virgin in the shade of a tree

But you were beautiful to me

In this hell of a life, you were by my side

By my side so heavenly

And just like an angel you led me to heaven

But like something else you abandoned me

It could be worse- worse it could be

Thatís what I tried so hard to see

But it should better

So much better than you leaving me

I was your love but you hid like I was someone else

Before she left, I told her that she couldnít hide from herself

Maybe she wouldíve heard me if I didnít scream it so loud

But she too now always screamed

She screamed how she didnít love me

She screamed itís not like before

She screamed until I couldnít scream no more

I said at least youíre not shy anymore

And we smiled like before

While all the while, I still wanted more

But I guess loveís like that some time

Itís just some of the time I dread

And as the sun refused to shine

It should be all of the time I said

She knew and I knew it too

That was the last thing we knewÖ

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Subject : Merciless Times

Posted Date: : Sep 18, 2005 11:16 AM

Merciless Times

The evening falls upon us

Merciless to all thatís below

I left my heart on the bottom

With no one, Iíve nowhere to go

I saved my soul, my mind, and some smiles

Before I was forced to flee

I left my heart because it was broken

And because itís never saved me

Still I cry a tear as I look back

To all thatís destroyed by the night

And now that the dawnís now upon us

Thereís nothing more I can write

You canít drag the past into tomorrow

You canít drag the night into the day

You canít have regrets and some sorrow

Tear your heart away

And if I had it now to do now once again

Iíd run back to save my heart and let the roof crash in

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Subject : Tattoo on Her Skin

Posted Date: : Sep 13, 2005 5:38 AM

Tattoo on Her Skin

Tattoo on her skin- its an angel in ink

I always knew she had somewhere to go, crying I think

Her toothbrush still with mine at the edge of the sink

Cant find the heart to throw it away although its pink

I need something there to remind me that once she was there

At a picture once again I stare

And so I dreamt you somehow into being alive

Thats why I try to never open my eyes

And so theyve always said it- that my love was blind

But I saw you so clearly within my mind

Ive got dreams to remind me that once you were here

At a picture once again I stare

My hearts like a rose- I once told you why

I said Ill give it to you although its destined to die

I said just put it in a vase to show your friends

But now Im here with an empty vase in the end

Artificial my heart has never been

And Ive always thought fake flowers were more real in the end

I fell in love but I hit the ground far too hard

From the very moment that you went away

I guess God needed an angel more than I needed a heart

I guess in His eyes it was better that way

He apologized to me once as we talked in a prayer

At a picture once again I stare

The sky bled red as my dreams set inside

Its like the sun was running to hide

My love has died- my love deep, down inside

Still its all I have to keep me alive

Im alive but I wonder does anyone care

At a picture once again I stare

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Subject : Tattoo on His Skin

Posted Date: : Sep 13, 2005 5:24 AM

Tattoo on His Skin

Tattoo on his skin from what had been

Tattoo on his skin from yesterday

Remember when, remember then

Yesterdayís not far away

A numbered name, but thatís not his name

Through wrinkles, it never fades

No more pain, but still thereís pain

A past that lasts- forever stayed

A dying breed whoís only known

How to live and to survive

A dying breed now so alone

To him life means to only strive

A dying need to have them die

The wrongful deeds we might forget

Made stronger through the bitter dark

But their sun will never set

No more breaths he has today

But more than dying words could ever say

The ink will never go away

The last Holocaust victim died today

Subject : Life's a Chance

Posted Date: : Sep 9, 2005 12:43 AM

Lifeís a Chance

Iíve shed my share of years The many that Iíve cried

Iíve bled my share of tears as my veins became my life

Iíve looked at chances missed I saw the fears that died

I took my share of risks in the chance that we call life

And still Iím here again like Iíve always been

Taking chances till the end

Iíve jumped from mountains high and fallen like a stone

Iíve lived like I would die- like my death were truly home

So far from the edge, Iíve landed on my own

As Iím back upon the ledge of all Iíve ever known

Iím now here again like Iíve always been

Taking chances till the end

Iíve known some people now whoíve never fallen down

Whoíve never bled a tear then live in which they drown

Iíve felt and seen their pain that they never realize

With all my broken heart and with my blackened eyes

As still Iím here again like Iíve always been

Taking chances till the end

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Subject : The Broken Hourglass

Posted Date: : Sep 9, 2005 12:41 AM

The Broken Hourglass

Time- it fills the hourglass of all we ever know

Time- it spills upon our past as we wonder where it goes

Time- it heals Time- it mends Time grows its wings to fly

Time- it kills Time- it ends But never does it die

The hourglass must break just like the heart and spill its sand

Time- it creeps back in and in time we understand

Time lifts us off the ground with its two uneven hands

As we know in time weíll fall and in time again weíll stand

Time takes our breaths away till all of them are gone

Time leaves us alone at night but finds us at the dawn

Time seems against us but time our side is on

When you need it most, time seems short but trust that time is long

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Subject : To Be in Heaven All Alone

Posted Date: : Sep 2, 2005 11:50 PM

To Be in Heaven All Alone

So now Iíve died because I tried

To somehow make you mine

And Iíve cried and Iíve cried

And Iíve cried a million times

Asking why and asking why

In my dreams and in my mind

Only lie and only lie

Do my dreams their every time

Why must I start to cry

Because of words my angelís said

You were mine in my mind

But now you love me not instead

Every time and every time

Youíre still going through my head

My angelís in her heaven

But now that I am dead

All my life and all my mind

Will never be the same

For Iíve tried and Iíve died

So deep in all my pain

Wonder why all the time

Iím in hell now again

My love for my sweet heaven

Was indeed my only sin

And now Iím lonely then

And I am lonely now

My only prayer to heaven

Was to live my dream somehow

But my heaven is what God

Has given unto me

So grateful I now try

I now try to be

Iím sitting here in heaven

But not so heavenly

I remember all my hell

With a smile of a dream

But now my dreams are gone

They were all that I had owned

So now here I am awake at night

In my heaven all alone

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Subject : Separated

Posted Date: : Aug 31, 2005 12:42 PM

Separated

It must be the weather- All this love in the sky

Has been there forever- But forevers a lie

Now I dont know whether to live or to die

Were only together in the sky of our minds

As we dream of a sun all the day through

My only someone has always been you

But now all of my day is sadly so through

Nothing but rain from the sky that I knew

And while Im soaking wet, Im walking away

Our sun has now set, now I havent a day

To never forget is all that I pray

Still my only regret is if I would stay

So miles apart were forced to now be

Our lives in the dark are all we can see

Our lives and our hearts and our destiny

Are all torn apart so separately

I know love is a dream thats supposed to come true

A sweet fairy tale always ending with you

But no longer I sleep- Nothing more I can do

Than sit in my bed just thinking of you

We both had to go our separate ways

Like well both stay in love for all of our days

Know that Im with you although I cant stay

I love you right now and Ill love you always

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Subject : Really Dreaming

Posted Date: : Aug 29, 2005 11:08 AM

A dream is a dream for heaven's sake

To dream of love or to dream of hate

It doesn't really matter either way

When by the end, we're all awake

And I think reality's really not so real in the end

And from what I understand,

It's not really real when things begin

So what's left but what's between

Between what's really happening and what's a dream

Such a fine line I walk and on that fine line I fall

Sometimes I don't think I'm really walking at all

Life's all been just a rise and a fall

Over and over again until it's understood

But in the end, only the dreams I recall

The illusions do more than reality ever could

So if I had my choice

If you let me choose

If just this once you let me fall

I'd take the voice you've given me to sing the blues

And I wouldn't sing at all

I'd just dream even if they never, ever, ever came true

I'd make dreaming all I'd do

Subject : Lost Angel

Posted Date: : Aug 14, 2005 1:07 PM

Lost Angel

And so another raindrop falls on my head

I'm happy 'cause I have you but God cries instead

He has lost an angel- an angel are you

It's so sad when God's dreams can never come true

And then the clouds parted as the sun shined

God's broken-hearted as He tries to find

He tries to find you with the might of the sun

Now along with his tears, a rainbow will come

And he looks towards the ends, for the gold He believes

But the world's only fortune is right next to me

And we look to the sky where God's in His pain

Lightning and thunder bring only rain

Your absence strips heaven of all of its fame

You look in my eyes- now I'm in heaven again

Still I feel sorry for God as He misses you

God's greatest gift is my dream come true

And only at night, God doesn't feel blue

Because that's when God sleeps and gets to dream of you

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Subject : The Change We Need

Posted Date: : Aug 13, 2005 1:18 PM

Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.

- George Bernard Shaw

The following can be looked at as words displaying the negativity of the human race or it can be looked at as words displaying the many opportunities we have to make this world greater than it is now.

The Change We Need

Unmarked graves, Zaveri slaves

Persecution and genocide

Unwed moms, Islamic bombs

The living will has gone and died

STD's and divorcees

They abort to stay together

Starve the poor but feed the war

It's been like that forever

Depleted skies, pollution lies

In the air and in our minds

Cancered lungs and wicked tongues

Teenage suicide

Godless towns, we're wearing frowns

Like our hearts are made of stone

No more hi's while passing by

We're in this world alone

Drunken dads and smoking ads

Rapists get released

A welfare curse, a condom bursts

Another orphan now deceased

Guns in school, a drunken fool

Kills two nineteen year olds

Inequality, a girl had dreams

Until another prostitute is sold

Fast food chains, somebody's slain

For being gay again

B.E.T. is not TV

But a step way back for men

Taliban and one night stands

America and greed

All these words are nothing more

Than a change that we all need

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Subject : What Guys Go Through

Posted Date: : Aug 11, 2005 9:58 PM

And so she breaks his heart and it's not her fault

She just couldn't feel for him

Without a love, she's in the dark

Waiting for someone to shine on in

All he longed to be was someone's shine

All alone he thinks inside his room

He heard love makes some men blind

But all this dark has come too soon

Such pain because he only tries

Now a piece of him must die

The pain resides within his eyes

But he's too strong to ever cry

Love's a choice that all men choose

Love's our game- too proud to lose

But leave our eyes, the pain refused

For we have these tears we're not allowed to use

So dead again like once before

Chivalry and all its lore

We felt it leave from our core

We want the love no more

Rejection knives right on through

Rejected lives we never knew

What rejection drives some men to do

You wish we loved like you

The love we'd have if dreams were true

Trust that we want it to

But better does the best we do

The worse we act to you

We're destroyed a bit by all our past

Each heart break that we're handed

The will to love is fading fast

But some just leave it stranded

Nice guys I've seen that finish last

I'll never understand it

The will to live is made of glass

We've dropped what we were handed

So take a chance but only if

If it's the right chance that's demanded

The perfect way on the perfect day

And only if that's how she planned it

The broken heart- it's not our fault

We couldn't help but feel for you

With all this love, we're in the dark

With no real sun to shine on through

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Subject : My Dreams Woke Up

Posted Date: : Aug 11, 2005 9:54 PM

One day my dreams woke up and I did not

My dreams lived life or so I thought

All I want I need till it's all I've got

Then my dreams woke up and I did not

Passion filled the sunlit sky

While I would've stood so idly by

My heart was used in place of mind

While I would've let regrets have their time

And as my dreams returned now unto me

The next night my dreams had me

I then awoke and the truth I sought

Was all I ever wanted was now all I've got

Because of that day when I think I thought

That my dreams woke up and I did not

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Subject : The Saddest Song

Posted Date: : Aug 8, 2005 4:17 PM

The Saddest Song

Living days just day by day Never let them slip away

But my hands are holding nothing now I see

Thrown around inside my pain Love is just a hurricane

Itís the strangest feeling without you here with me

All this destruction makes my life so tough

Sometimes the saddest song just ainít enough

Flying in an aeroplane Feeling like Iím so insane

All I want to do is touch the ground

I smile though you are away My life without youís still okay

Still all I want is for you to be around

ëCause the road Iím never walking on is getting way too rough

Sometimes the saddest song just ainít enough

She gave a letter telling why so she or I wouldnít cry

Face to face we never would survive

But all the words upon the page slowly seemed to go away

All they did was say to me goodbye

Now Iím forced to believe all of this stuff

Sometimes the saddest song just ainít enough

As Iím living inside my room tomorrow never comes too soon

All my dreams are never coming true

The music plays inside my mind

Iíve heard this song a thousand times

Still nothing seems to ease me like you do

Living days just day by day I know that youíre so far away

Still the closest thing to me is you

The silence that Iím living in makes my life so tough

Sometimes the saddest song just ain't enough

Subject : My Only Dream is You

Posted Date: : Aug 6, 2005 2:53 PM

My Only Dream is You

My dreams- they only tell me

Things I swear must be true

That there is no love greater

Than the love I have from you

And my heart- it slowly whispers

All of my day through

That the only reason itís beating

Is because of you

And my life- it says itís happy

With you and thatís a fact

As heavenís only screaming

For me to bring their angel back

And reality is feeling

A little too unreal

Because of you it says

That Iím only dreaming still

And all the world is dying

In jealousy unkind

For their world is nothing

With you in this world of mine

And still Iím listening to no one

I focus just on you

You are my only dream

And youíre my only dream come true

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Subject : Anything I'd Be

Posted Date: : Aug 6, 2005 12:04 AM

Anything Iíd Be

At first I was a sculpture then I became a writer

All these things that I do

Till I became a dancer then I became a singer

To sing this song for you

Till I became a teacher then I became a student

I learned it all from you

Then I became your lover until the very end

It was then I was a friend to you

Anything Iíd be if you wanted me

Iíd be anything that you need

And all youíd have to be for me is you

Be my only dream come true

I became my heart As I had to break

I see Iím breaking right on through

Till I became the miles that separate

Just so I could be close to you

Till I became the rain upon my grave

I buried my very soul

Then I became the priest to God enslaved

I was still in hell Iím told

Anything Iíd be if you wanted me

Iíd be anything that you need

And all youíd have to be for me is you

Be my only dream come true

Do you remember when I was everything

And anything for you

A sculpture that made our love till it was broken through

I was a writer that wrote of times

Still every word was you

I was a dancer who never danced unless it was with you

I was a singer who only sung to make my words ring true

Till I became the floor that you dance upon

Youíre dancing all night long

As I became the beat as I beat so strong

My heart is still not gone

So dance to me my baby and never do you mind

That every step you take, part of me must die

So dance and dance and dance and dance

All the day and night

Dance and dance and dance and dance

As long as youíre happy, Iíll be alright

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Subject : The Blind Man Walks On

Posted Date: : Aug 3, 2005 9:51 PM

The Blind Man Walks On

From the middle of the tracks

The blind man said it before he was gone

It doesnt really matter what side of the tracks I'm on

And it's a comedy and a tragedy

At the same time- this life we're upon

Now I heard you say just the other day

You should've said it a million moments before

That I'm not for you and you're not for me

And you must walk out of that door

And so now I see the dark in me

Although I still have you around

Love is blind and is not kind

But it feels so good to me right now

So now I could step a million steps

To my left or to my right

With or without you in my life

Is the battle that I fight

And as the train rolls down these tracks I am upon

It doesn't really matter what side of the tracks

This blind man is walking on

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Subject : My Mask

Posted Date: : Jul 31, 2005 1:33 PM

Subject : A Wish

Posted Date: : Jul 28, 2005 8:42 PM

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Subject : Walking Blindly

Posted Date: : Jul 25, 2005 7:15 PM

Walking blindly, he walks up to me

What does he want? Some change?

He just reminded me that I could see

Thats all he wanted from me

I saw a girl once broken-hearted

But now shes frozen inside like me

She looked just like the sunshine

Too bright for me to see

But I heard her say before I looked away

Ill melt for you if you melt for me

Still I walked for miles as if I headed somewhere

But nowhere I was supposed to be

Walking, I pass by a lonely tree

The only tree in the park with all its leaves

I saw a leaf blow away

It said that trees not lonely like me

But I kept walking. Im sure Ill stop eventually

Im headed to my heaven to my intolerant baby

She makes me wonder sometime

Why I love the one who doesnt love me

I walk for miles as if I werent passing

People who somehow needed me

Im heading to the one place I shouldnt be

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Subject : (for my friend whose poetic words are dispersed throughout this poem and my life)

Posted Date: : Jul 24, 2005 11:58 PM

My Favorite Time of Year

Above the murk, I lurk although the gloom is in my heart

With so much joy, it hurts I rise above the dark

With you, you know I am- to sad sights I am blind

Giving you all the Gerber daisies that I can ever find

There comes a time when we somehow, someway must choose

Between the things we wish to keep and the things we have to lose

So out of all that I let go there is one thing that I refuse

To lose anything I have that has to do with you

Your words and all the memories echo through these barren times

Times so short but like forever within these eyes of mine

The reality of my life is why I smile slight

The stars with you never fade Thats why I love my night

When I was on 28th street or when in the bar Id fight

I see them not without your words Thats why I love my sight

Because of things that you go through I feel I move instead

I wonder what kind of dreams I have inside my head

I realize lifes the diving board that we succeed and fail upon

Moving forward in the noise of peace till all the noise is gone

All my haves for my have nots Ill try to never trade

While I have your friendship with me that cant become unmade

Echoed through these barrened times the ticking clock unwinds

The mirror that you write upon for yourself you must define

You never give in I see youre dancing with your fears

Back will never work you say as you drown inside your tears

Youll never stand alone I say Ill always stand so near

Life has many seasons but youre my favorite time of year

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Subject : Every Time I Sing this Song

Posted Date: : Jul 29, 2005 5:27 PM

Every Time I Sing this Song

Through the night so dark and bleak

For no one but you I seek

Why do I even try

Every time I sing this song I cry

Where, I say, can my love be

Not in front of my eyes to see

I donít even know why I try

Every time I sing this song I cry

And I smile when I see you

And I cry when youíre away

And I donít need tomorrow

When I have you here today

Iím living like I know you

Iím living like youíre mine

Iím searching like Iíve lost you

Iím searching like Iíll find

A love for all my life

If I find my love in time

But we live our lives with hope

In our veins, the blood is wine

Living with our eyes half-opened

Maybe weíre better off blind

And Iím left here saying why do I even try

Every time I sing this song I cry

Through the night so dark and bleak

I sit with no one by my side

Every time I sing this song I cry

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Subject : And on a Rainy Day

Posted Date: : Jul 23, 2005 12:48 PM

And on a Rainy Day

The childís widened eyes

Her reach not very long

Still sheís reaching as she tries

To save her mom now gone

The sky inside her mind

Has lost its only sun

She reached and tried to cry

But the tears- they never come

The rain ran down her face

Too shocked to cry Iíd take

Too wet, the tires slid

But never did they brake

Fifteen years and not a tear

Just a girl who hates the rain

As she smiles, I look inside

A past she canít restrain

I look into her eyes

The tears have all been slain

She cried without a tear

As she calmly went insane

With her head upon my shoulder,

She says she hates the pain

She used to be so happy

As she cried one tear in shame

She says to me so quiet

She used to love the rain

And thatís all she had to say

She tells me so I know

About that rainy day

So very long ago

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Subject : 200 Words...

Posted Date: : Jul 23, 2005 1:45 AM

I bled myself two hundred

very lonely words

I tried to say I'm sorry

to my only girl

Drop by drop, I miss her

Iím fading very fast

I thought I'd always love her

She thought we wouldn't last

Iím writing on some paper

so very very fast

to tell her that I miss her

and somehow try to ask

I ask her for forgiveness,

for giving me a break

I bled myself two hundred

words to try to make

To make myself so better

I wouldn't have to ache

To give my heart a story

so it wouldn't have to break

Iím bleeding in my glory

for my heavenís sake

Theyíre reading all my story

as my heart would break

What I have before me

is a broken past

I thought Iíd always love her

She thought we wouldnít last

Iím screaming that I love her

Though I know she left

And never does she hear me

As I waste my breath

Iím writing for some people

I will never know

I put them in a time

so very long ago

I bled upon some paper,

I bled upon the world

I bled myself two hundred

very lonely words.

Subject : My Kirsten Sky

Posted Date: : Jul 21, 2005 2:27 AM

My Kirsten Sky

Under the sky, it fell on my eye

A tear from the cloud of the rain

The first time I truly ever looked up

I saw all my sky in pain

The pain hurt me though so long ago

Before my sky even had a name

So long ago but it's still you I know

I see I'm under my sky again

The days as they fly, sometimes you'd cry

But more often you would just shine

Millions of miles between you and I

Still it feels like you should be mine

I dream as I look up with my open eyes

I'm dreaming now all of the time

I have all that I need on the ground where I lie

I'm underneath my Kirsten sky

In the day that I have, you're all that I see

You're truly the sun in my skies

And still in the night, you look down upon me

As every star's the white of your eyes

With all that I have, you're all that I need

So alone I never do lie

And there's no place on earth that I'd rather be

Than underneath my Kirsten sky

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Subject : Roses of Black

Posted Date: : Jul 19, 2005 2:27 PM

Roses of Black

Roses are black, roses are blue

In the life that I live, Iím so confused

Minutes are seconds, time it turns back

My days are like nights of shattered black

Iím confused about everything and about nothing too

Picking up roses that are black and so blue

Love has at one time hurt through and through

My heart was a red that I never knew

Iím hurt like a flower thatís lost a petal or two

Healed by the sweetest morning dew

I only know one thing for sure that is true

All that I know is all that I knew

So now roses are black and roses are blue

No matter the color, Iíll give them to you

And the day that I live in the night that I knew

With you, all my dreams keep coming true

Roses are black, roses are blue

Iím confused about everything and nothing too

All that I know is all that I knew

For all of my life, Iíll love you

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Subject : Not Over Yet

Posted Date: : Jul 18, 2005 4:02 PM

Not Over Yet

On every patio there lie rhythms

Put there by Marley and Dylan telling us of our lives

Still Iím inside like Iíve always been

Iíve always been inside

Walking down my street again as in my happiness I hide

Living through the day till the sun has left the sky

The only notes I sing are in the songs of me and you

The blues I just canít deny

as my dreams struggle to come true

My bodyís made of glass

and my feelings are all thatís real

Cause my heart- it doesnít last

and your eyes see through me still

Even after all these years, Iím still just walking here

On this road I shall stay day after day

As I find even yellow brick roads erode away

The sun shines in the shadows

as you shine upon my heart

The sunshineís in the shadows tearing it apart

I remember the nights dear

when I was made drunk by your kiss

And although Iím still alive here,

your heart doesnít seem to notice

And out of all the things I miss,

why must I miss your kiss

But thatís just the way our fairy tale goes

Weíre not at the end quite yet

My only regret in life so far is never having any regrets

And sitting with you in my arms

watching the sweet sun set

As weíre so far caught so deep in the moment

But thatís just how our fairy tale goesÖ.

Itís not over yet.

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Subject : In the Depths of the Shade

Posted Date: : Jul 15, 2005 2:39 PM

In the Depths of the Shade

My memories fade in the depths of the shade

As the clouds slowly cover all of my day

Thereís no more sun in the sky

in the sky that is mine

Iíve got nothing now that youíve gone away

My mindís had its dreams forever of you

But now more than ever it seems theyíre untrue

My heartís had a fire fueled by desire

But itís so cold and so dark

when Iím no longer with you

Iím either closing my eyes as all of my skies

Will never again be shining so blue

Or Iím seeing so blind like the love that is mine

My loveís always been blind

when Iím looking at you

I never see reality

But now that I see what Iím forced to see

Itís so hard to believe that you have to leave

But the sadness I feel lets me know that itís true

So now Iím forced to dream of

the words of my love

For Iíve got no one left to write them all to

And now Iím forced to survive

in a dream in my mind

All that keeps me alive is me dreaming of you

Iím so afraid to forget all the life that we knew

As I can only recall when my skies were so blue

So deep in the dark, Iím holding my heart

When all that I want is to hold onto you

So deep in my mind, youíre still by my side

But watch the sun set is all that we do

So my memories can fade

in the depths of the shade

All of my dreams can never come true

Still Iíll stay alive although I have died

ëCause somewhere inside, Iíll always have you

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Subject : Hero of Mine

Posted Date: : Jul 14, 2005 6:37 PM

Hero of Mine

Love has given my heart wings, so I shall surely fly

And if loveís not everything, I might as well just die

And though heartacheís all it brings, I still must somehow try

I am truly a hero of mine

Weíre behind these stone-cold bars though we never did our crime

The worldís bleeding like a church, a blood so pure and fine

Where weíre free enough to search but never free enough to find

I open up their eyes; now no longer are they blind

I am truly a hero of mine

And all throughout the years, I give light to the unaware

And all throughout the years, I give sight to those not there

And even without the tears, my eyes show them that I care

And I know every, single step is just a step amongst the stairs

I give fire to those who know, direct them where to go

Take the emptiness that haunts them and try to make them whole

So all throughout their hearts lie their minds and souls

For all of my time, I am truly a hero of mine

With my words and actions done,

I spread the fire of those in flames

And with the power of Godís great sun,

I let light ease the darkened pain

And their passions run so high

I merely give them wings to fly

I am truly a hero of mine

Subject : The Names of Our Heroes

Posted Date: : Jul 12, 2005 4:40 PM

The Names of Our Heroes

The seas cry between us

Still they canít keep us apart

With all our souls lost,

We still fight with our hearts

And the names of our heroes

Are carved in black stone

Seems we fight everyone else

But weíre only killing our own

Shadows are falling from the walls to the ground

I hear the sun calling as it calls all around

It shows our hopes falling- the hopes that we found

Are lost here forever so dead on the ground

And the seas- they divide us with a flood of their tears

And still weíre divided all through the years

All sides think God is right on their side

But in the end, everyone dies

And the names of our heroes live only in mind

As it rains slowly, I hear the clouds cry

So sad and so boldly for they never know why.

Heroes were never meant to die

And the seas that were crying- between us they lie

Stripped of their everything, but still are alive

And the names of our heroes are all that survive

I hear the sky screaming wondering why.

Heroes were never meant to die

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Subject : Crush

Posted Date: : Jul 11, 2005 5:10 PM

Crush

I have a crush, but she only crushes my heart

She destroys me right to the core

I say to her ìDonít worry about the damageî

While Iím torn apart

ìFor all my heart is yoursî

And even while broken

My heart that you stole

Iíll still somehow love you with all of my soul

Then as my soul dies

Iíll love you with mind

Till I have only dreams to keep me alive

Till all of my days so surely are done

And with you as my sunshine, I havenít a sun

And youíve crushed me inside and Iíve nothing left

But no one beside me and one final breath

And while gasping in silence

With a few words to say

Crushed here in loneliness,

Iíll still be okay

With my last dying words, Iíll use them to say

ìI love you right now and Iíll love you always.î

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Subject : Dancing to the Blues

Posted Date: : Jul 7, 2005 12:58 AM

Dancing to the Blues

He plays the song so soft with his guitar

He sings the words he regretfully knew

He plays the blues with all of his heart

But nobody listens but you

They all dance beside and around you

They all dance with rhythm-filled shoes

But stand alone is all that you do

As you listen to him playing his blues

He tells a story of a lover and her heart

With a door so broken by time

And still he knocks on her heartís door so hard

But all that this lover could find

Was a place destroyed from the inside

And on the outside, the redís washed away

All the windows- they never see sunshine

And the girl- she never sees day

And still the man- he came on the inside

But soon the roof crashed in on the two

And still he sang so soft from the inside

As everyone danced to his blues

Now soon the beat consumes even you

A loverís fateÖ Whatís a lover to do?

At least he gave a song to this world

A song for us to dance to

Now the two remained on the inside

Kissing while they bled on the floor

He said I donít care that my life has now died

Itís better than living alone

And he plays the song so soft with his guitar

Of a love that ended before itís begun

And we all dance with all of our hearts

Till the song is done.

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Subject : An Empty Church

Posted Date: : Jul 7, 2005 12:57 AM

An Empty Church

An empty house- look all around me

An empty page- but still I read the Word

I never saw but right now you know I see

An empty house is the house of the Lord

The pages torn but still you know I read

The pages torn, for somebody ripped them out

The preacher speaks- heís speaking directly to me

But I know not what heís speaking about

Clean the pews from all the littered pages

The concertís done- all the words have been sung

Iíve paid my dues- Hellís bells are all that bought me

I close my eyes as the bells have all been rung

You say you love as you say you love me

I canít help but think you think Iím someone else

I canít forgive you for forgiving

How could you when I canít forgive myself?

All you gave, and still you never stop your giving

All you gave, now inside thereís nothing else

I look at you as you ask me if I know you

Broken down, my cries are all let out

An empty church is all that now must house me

And still itís you I know nothing about

All I know is you can part the water

All I know is you think Iím someone else

All I know is you can see your enemy

And love him more than he can love himself

He says to me that he knows just who I am

He says to me that his love is always mine

He says to me ìCome and take my hand.

Thereís no empty church with you in this heart of mine.î

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Subject : Singing the Blues

Posted Date: : Jul 5, 2005 2:09 AM

Singing the Blues

I see my tears make their fall unto the hardest ground

I see them and look around and see all this world of mine

They mean so much and so little all at the same time

And I just want to breathe without drowning

I just want to play and never lose

I just want to stop singing these blues

I dont know if anybody knows

Where love comes from or where it goes

But I was blinded by a love

Or maybe I just chose to leave my poor eyes closed

Through all of those cold nights it just had to snow

When I was already freezing, all of my heart just froze

So to keep my eyes closed is what I always choose

I just want to stop singing these blues

And I just want to hold onto you

Till time comes for you with shaking gun in hand

So volatile time always is, but this time I understand

Thats why I cant let him take you away

Facing death, I live to say

To be without love, I shall refuse

I just want to stop singing these blues

We shared the times in the rain

We even shared the pain

But now that were apart, we wont share the blame

And Im left here lonely in my room with nothing else to do

I just want to stop singing these blues

Subject : Reality's My Kryptonite

Posted Date: : Jul 2, 2005 9:49 PM

Realityís My Kryptonite

Realityís my kryptonite

Iíd rather live within a dream

For realityís just black and white

So dark it often seems

I often scream when I arise

For I see that theyíre untrue

Gray is day upon my skies

I wish my skies were blue

Red with love, Iíve bled the blood

That only lovers do

My clothes are stained and I am pained

But die, I never do

To be with me you have tried

You claimed it suicide

You say to me you cannot cry

Because all your tears have dried

Our lives are not like a dream

Fateís not ever on our side

Let us not make a scene

You wish that I abide

But youíve created a scene in me

That I want not in my mind

Contemplated but still I see

No way I can resign

The love we hated, I scream and scream

Was still of yours and mine

And if we waited from dream to dream

One true weíd surely find

Love belated is better than

A love thatís had its time

So what weíre fated for an unhappy end

Letís begin a love so fine

Then she screamed back, we run and run

Towards our finish line

Without a care but still weíre there

So quickly in our time

I said to her that I might run

To the end thatís missing you

For without you there, that would be the end

And I swear that that is true

But still letís run towards that line

Just like weíre fated to

And the end now let us never mind

In our reality come true

She looked at me with saddened eyes

For so happy she will be

Sheís mad that she lost the fight

But happy sheíll have me

At least weíll be for a while

And though thatís all weíve got

To have a love then have it lost

Is better than to not

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Subject : Acushla

Posted Date: : Jul 2, 2005 2:07 PM

Acushla--- n : (an Irish term of address expressing affection) dear or darling. Literally: Pulse of the heart

Acushla

Your words- they make me jump

When I try not to fall

And love- it makes me weak

Still all through it all

My heart- it stays so strong

When I fall from the sky

The fall- it is so long

When Im destined to die

Your words- they make me blush

When I try to be pale

The red is like my heart

Telling the tale

That all that longs to happen

To my love-stricken core

Is the red will soon escape

Til Im dead on the floor

Your words- they are my sunshine

When my skies are so gray

And you- you would be mine

If I had my own way

But still inside these times

I know I must stay

Where the love you say is mine

Are just things that you say

Your words- they make me jump

Til theres nowhere to fall

And love- it lets me live

Still all through it all

Id rather just die

Than be buried alive

Or to drown inside my cries

Til Im forced to survive

Still your words- they make me smile

Like a summery day

And love- its all Ive got

When things arent okay

And my heart- it is so red

And I hope that wont fade

Through cries that leave me broken

When I feel so dismayed

All are things apart of life

In the life love has made

All are things Id never, ever trade

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Subject : Unto the Sky

Posted Date: : Jul 1, 2005 11:36 PM

Unto the Sky

As eyes look up unto the sky

One is born, another dies

Eyes look up unto the sky

From the streets of all our lives

They look as rain has pained their eyes

But still they look and try to find

With so much pain inside their eyes

They look for heroes in their skies

But all they see on the avenue

Is this is where theyíll always stay

And all the man tries to do

Is find a job his every day

All he sees as he looks up

Is that it shouldnít be this way

I know it sounds crazy that they all arenít lazy

But crazier things happen everyday

I know it sounds crazy when someone says

That no one deserves to live or die that way

I know it sounds crazy

But itís something that someone has to say

So take a house, so big and plain

We all could live in one if we all lived the same

But bigger ones we do complain

Is our right but in the rain,

Some people sleep but wake in pain

As they find the strength to fall asleep again

But dismiss it all behind a name

We say only communists play that game

The more live in their house of shame

While the less are left to blame

Donít beg in shame they hear and hear

Itís your fault youíre here

Well maybe so for all we know

Life is hard and thatís how it goes

And weíve earned our own even though

So letís keep our own, but for all we know

Our rights are wrong and the questionís so

Is Bill Gates really the way to go?

And maybe they havenít done a thing to deserve to be like him

Or to be like us, or to be like them, or maybe to even be

But do they deserve to live their death in this democracy

Some people say, some people cry

That not even murderers deserve to die

And in our world of travesty

Thatís the bigger controversy

And while looking up with their eyes, another beggar dies

But weíre looking too as all we do is look unto the sky

As weíre waiting for some hero who wonít just pass us by

But to wait and wait and never try wonít bring a hero to our lives

So donít look up but side-to-side

We should all be the heroes of our lives

By cash weíre seen to fail or win

But moneyís not success

Through all the more thatís ever been

Letís stray from more and help the less

A life is done at the age of one

In a gutter without a word to say

No one has or will deserve to live or die that way

As eyes look up unto the sky, no one wonders why

Millions have to live and die

I am one but still I try

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Subject : This Morn

Posted Date: : Jul 1, 2005 3:56 PM

This Morn

I woke up this morn like I was just born

Your eyes are like sunshine to me

Its nine in the morn The night that weve worn

Is now just something else were failing to see

I go back to sleep with you by my side

Its better than dreaming to me

Its still nine on the clock when I open my eyes

Every time I wake I can see

Have all of my dreams somehow come true

Has all of our time admitted defeat

Its still nine in the morn Our day is anew

As hours fly by we stay on our feet

The clocks probably broken like my heart would be

If you ever decided to leave

But lying unwoken The morning I see

Even if Im lying youre still lying with me

Sleeping beside you forever it seems

Youre still the only dream I can see

Its still nine in the morn in the night I adorn

Your eyes are like sunshine to me

Subject : Just a Couple More Hours of Sleep

Posted Date: : Jun 30, 2005 11:44 AM

Just a Couple More Hours of Sleep

I live in a dream I live in my mind

I live in a dream I live in a lie

Going through heaven my heaven inside

I never thought I would die

But as I come to the end to the end of my dream

I sit in the darkness surrounding me

And I only pretend to be now asleep

As the sun shines down on me

But Ive found no truth at the end of this tunnel

I failed to see any light

I tried to walk but I had to stumble

I tried to walk because I couldnt fly

And as I fall from up high Im only dying within

Im broken inside as Im bleeding again

Loves a game that Im losing as Im dying within

But as long as you dont see me die, I win

My heavens so torn but you dont think its a sin

I shouldve never held you inside

Im in a place I call heaven where Ive never been

Youve never really been inside

But as Im dreaming of you, Im kinda glad I wont wake

As nothing comes true, much more sleep I shall take

Ill see my dreams as my life and see my life as fake

Living in a heart that refuses to break

So I shall live in a dream so deep in my mind

Ill live as Ill be so deep in a lie

Staying in a heaven thats so broken inside

With the love you say is mine

Im praying in a heaven that wont hear my cries

As I cry for all of time

Staying in a heaven thats so broken inside

Until the day I die

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Subject : Like Sunshine

Posted Date: : Jun 29, 2005 12:15 PM

Like Sunshine

I love you like sunshine

As lifeís in the dark

And as coldness enslaves all of my heart

I love you like breathing

As slowly I drown

And while longing for something no longer around

I love you like angels

As Iím here in my hell

You lift me to heaven by the love that I fell

Please hear all sweet prayers

Though theyíre deep in my cries

Please see all my passion

So deep in my eyes

ëCause I love you like dreaming

Like the ones that come true

I love you like no other

ëCause thereís no one like you

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Subject : Either Dead or Dying

Posted Date: : Jun 29, 2005 12:14 PM

Either Dead or Dying

Im either dead or dying

Or ahead or trying

Just a little too hard again

Im afraid to love you

Im afraid of crying

Im so very afraid of the end

So here I am at the start again

Doing everything with all my heart within

Too much good is just a sin

Im dying in heaven once again

Can my heart beat too fast to still have love?

Can the sun shine too brightly from above?

Im giving your heart pains with burns of love

This is nothing like what Ive been dreaming of

So now here I am once again

Im either dead or dying as I cry within

With love Ive done my greatest sin

Too hard Im trying

Now its the end.

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Subject : Hello Stranger (to my friend who can resist anything but temptation)

Posted Date: : Jun 28, 2005 12:16 PM

Hello Stranger

And so I heard love was blind

So I always thought I'd see

But looking up to the sky,

Love was just a little too bright for me.

I've been looking out for angels

But it's them I'll never see

Still I'm looking at a stranger

more beautiful than an angel could ever be

I look at you with blinded eyes

as my heart sees everything

I know I'm not an angel,

but someone has to sing

So I've written words for you

I didn't think you'd mind

Still I will never sing of you

and really think you're mine

For I have known the danger

of words that have to rhyme

To say hello to strangers

like I've said to you this time

And soon our hearts are broken

somewhere down the line

All our dreams are woken

and forgotten in their time

You say that we're so different

but I know that you're so wrong

You say that we'll last

but I know we can't last long

You say you just got here

but I know you'll soon be gone

I know our story's end

because I wrote this song

And still I never sing in anger

as I sing within a dream

You're the most beautiful stranger

these eyes have ever seen

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Subject : Hallelujah

Posted Date: : Jun 26, 2005 8:11 PM

Hallelujah

Hallelujah screamed the angel just to survive

Screamed with desire and yet so eloquent

It was never a sin to heroically thrive

But now sheís covered with the pyre she could not repent

For she screamed and she sighed too different of things

They were just never the same

Saintly she lived but martyrly died

And only loveís left here to blame

With low-sunken halo, with eyes trying to hide

Love sees itís at fault for pain

So gone is the angel from heavenly side

The love she could not restrain

But to honor her God, she screamed it aloud

As behind her cries were doubt

Hallelujah is just her heavenly shroud

There was much she was without

Though she had everything one could heavenly bring

Her sin was to want more and need

Scars on her face from the tears she can taste

In heaven, her tears would bleed

Down from her eyes, for her acushla she cried

For the pulse of her heart she held

Down from the skies, she fell and she died

For a love for which she already fell

In heaven she tried, but to be from his side

Was a loveless, heavenly hell

Hallelujah she screamed, Hallelujah she cried

Hallelujah was all she could yell

Subject : So Gone (For my friend who just broke up with her boyfriend)

Posted Date: : Jun 19, 2005 2:10 PM

So Gone

So gone is today as itís slipping away

Because we lost hold of our yesterday

And still thereís tomorrow as I see in the dark

For tomorrowís never too gone to start

And so you said I stole what I borrowed

Your heart that I stole

I caused all the sorrow when I let it go

Your heart that is broken lies on the floor

Just know that my heart lies right next to yours

I guess that Iím blessed but I only feel cursed

I had but I lost, but which one is worse

Is all that I think as Iím thinking alone

I donít know which heart I own

As I pick up the pieces broke on the floor

So swathed are my hands from all of the gore

As you caught me red-handed, I know that Iím caught

Youíre all that I wanted was the wrong that I thought

And youíre still all Iíve got as all that I do

Is open my eyes to find me anew

To find me a new love, worth it and true

Whether right or so wrong, itís all that I do

So pretty I look as I go to the city

Just to lay low, I go to the Getty

As I look in the mirror, I see Iím never as pretty

As when I had you but show me no pity

Although away from my mind, you never will be

The end of your time was the ending of me

Although Iím just here at the beginning

Iíve got so much of my heart that needs mending

Maybe we couldíve, I think the absurd

As all of my maybeís are all of my words

The distance drove through me like the sharpest of swords

But now I know life is a gift from the Lord

I donít know much, maybe all that I knew

Is I had to let go of you

And find me a new dream and make it come true

Breaking up is the hardest thing to do

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Subject : The Sweetest of Things

Posted Date: : Jun 15, 2005 5:28 PM

The Sweetest of Things

Boy meets girl in a Mexican bar

Hes stood up for her since the day they met

The sweetest day hell never forget

As he stood there and fought with all of his heart

For the honor of a girl he had never met

And looking in the mirror cracked with the cracks

From his broken, bloody face

He said the sweetest of things happened this day

Finding a flower in the crack of the street

A rose broken-petalled smelling so sweet

He gave it to her from the depths of defeat

That was the moment she was swept off her feet

Before they were married, his father would die

On the day of their wedding, it would rain from the sky

The father did say it with the death in his eyes

"Love this woman for all of your life"

The sweetest of things never do die

And many more years, they fly as they pass

They have so much together but just couldnt last

All he has now are the tears he can taste

And a scar from the past that he loves on his face

So now she has left him with nothing to say

She has nothing as well, she has nothing today

But an old broken rose that she just couldnt bear to ever throw away

Cupid is crying with no more arrows to shoot

Hes crying just like a little child

An old man divorced, still distinguished in suit

Shes destroyed him with a smile

Still he sings her a song from the lawn to her window

With a cracked sort of voice

Singing with all his heart at night in the dark

Like he hadnt a choice

Shes his again... and all you can say

Is the sweetest of things never go away

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Subject : Right By Your Side

Posted Date: : Jun 12, 2005 2:29 PM

Right By Your Side

So far so far we are we are so far apart

Separated by oceans- split apart by dark

Still I see you and me so far inside my heart

Even though I know so far is where you are

And youre in another land and I am over here

Split apart by oceans that might as well be tears

And time ~ it slowly crumbles till it covers all our years

Still I wish time would cover all my aches and all my fears

But they show more and more as Im forced now to survive

I hate it over here without you by my side

I am living lonely I might as well just die

Risking my life only I might as well just try

As I dive into these waters and try to make it to your shore

I swim a million miles still it feels like so much more

Ive died a million times but death is such a bore

Without you by my side so I keep on living more

Then I make it to your land and force my legs to run

Till I can only walk my heart is almost done

Till I must surely crawl as my death is soon to come

But Ill make it through this desert through the pain and sun

To be right by your side Ill always struggle on

So slow in pained misfortune Ive somehow stayed so strong

And now I see your house as I still must struggle on

I make it to your doorstep and then my sunshine comes

As you open up your door and your smile is my sky

My last breaths say I love you Ive loved you all my life

Still my trip was worth it although my life has died

For Ive made it to my heaven Ive died right by your side

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Subject : I've Found Me a Love

Posted Date: : Jun 9, 2005 5:03 PM

Ive Found Me a Love

Ive found me a love- my dream has come true

But I dont know if forevers ever through

Im so scared of a time that was never mine

I know what Ive done but not what to do

I dont know if forever will ever be done

Or if I should just die in my pain

I dont know whether to shine like the sun

And I dont know whether to cry like the rain

I dont know weather Still I look to the sky

I dont know whether to live or to die

My dream is forever but forevers a lie

But if you tell me it isnt, I swear Ill try

I know I just met you

and youre not what you seem

I hope I just met you and it wasnt a dream

So now I must let you be heavenly

If only to get you next to me

Im taken to heaven in a sky that is blue

Im taken to heaven every time I see you

Ill take you to heaven if thats all that I do

Ill take you to heaven if you want me to

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Subject : The Woman

Posted Date: : Jun 8, 2006 8:37 AM

The Woman

There once was a woman who swore off love

and never did she lie

So she locked herself up for a hundred years

away from the world to die

After a year had passed her by, the woman still survived

because her heart was always there

right there by her side

And day after day for many years

Her prison she stayed inside

Till her heart had enough

and broke free from woman's side

So wild hearts always are

Escaped in search of love

Runaway so very far

without a sun above

And still this woman stayed inside

for all the years to come

She swore off love and never lied

although her heart was none

So lonely time, but she survived

It's a wonder she stayed alive

She lived for all the hundred years

but I swear that she had died

And when her time had ended,

when her life had nearly died

Her heart returned finally

right back to her side

Bleeding in need and split in two

was the heart that almost died

Tortured by loves, so black and blue

Her heart was broke inside

So as they died together, all of it was true

The lady's final sigh

to the heart she never knew

She spoke directly to her heart

that now was broke in two

And never did she lie

so her every word was true

She spoke directly to her heart

that was tortured black and blue

The moment before they died

she said, "I wish I lived like you"

Subject : The Battle

Posted Date: : Jun 8, 2005 1:27 PM

The Battle

The pen, the mighty sword

The cut, the wounded word

Bleeding everything it ever had to say

But the battles in the mind

Not on ground the poet finds

The dead are the only who survive this dying day

And every letter is a day

And every tear- she is a line

And the words- they only stay

Because of what they must define

And my life is just a phrase

And all the world is just a page

The paper is the battleground

That is indeed the stage

As my words are dancing round

In your eyes and in your head

They dance until they die

But never are they dead

And the words the poet said

He writes with such a haste

The sweat dripping from his head

Is all that he can taste

Till he has to drop his sword

And no longer fight his war

All the dead are only words piled upon the floor

The poem- it is no more

He drops his bloody sword

And looks at what is written

He looks upon his words

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Subject : God Had a Dream of Me

Posted Date: : Jun 5, 2005 8:40 PM

God Had a Dream of Me

God had a dream of me The best Heís ever dreamt

He promised me everything His promise always kept

God had a dream of me And I swear that it came true

God dreams of many things But all I dream about is you

I fell in love with you from a mountain high

I once was scared to jump I once was scared to fly

I fell in love with you For no longer could I stand

I fell and still I fall I hope I never land

I prayed my soul for Him to keep His promise always kept

I dreamt you in my sleep The reason that I slept

Was to have you in my dream The dream I always dreamt

Was that Iíd sweep you off your feet till all of you was swept

But dreams they make me weep So untrue I always wept

And still with such a leap From so high for you I leapt

Because in Godís dream He promised me And His promise always kept

God had a dream of me The best He's ever dreamt

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Subject : Jimmy

Posted Date: : Jun 2, 2005 6:36 PM

Jimmy

Jimmy died today I heard his mother say

It wasnt his time to die

Jimmy cried today to his special place

But now for the very last time

And now I look up Its so very tough

I see theres one more star in the sky

And out of all the times that could come and go

How were we supposed to know this time

Jimmy died today I heard his mother say

She had tears all in her eyes

Jimmy cried today it didnt bother me

That kid always cries

And as he entered school

He said hes nobodys fool

I guess he stood up for the very first time

And out of all the times that could come and go

How were we supposed to know this time

Jimmy died today But no one knew his name

til those bullies had taken his life

Jimmy cried today He said they had it anyway

He said until now they already had his life

And out of all the times that could pass us by

How were we supposed to know this was the time

Jimmy spoke today No one knew he had words to say

Everyone thought he was just fine

We just got out of his way as all he would say

He screamed what was on his mind

Jimmy woke today I heard his mother say

Before she dropped him off for the very last time

Jimmy speak today Youre gonna be okay

Jimmy, youre gonna be just fine

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Subject : Love's Life

Posted Date: : Jun 1, 2005 1:14 PM

Loves Life

My smile drowns and starts to die

My smiles down and so am I

I see the world not through my eyes

As I look at love now start to cry

The whole world looks with astonishment

And sees the tears now gone and went

Something once so heaven sent

Is now somewhere so never meant

My smile drowns inside its tears

Thinking back through all the years

I remember when our love was here

Before it drowned inside its tears

Now Ive fallen to my knees

Hearing cries among the breeze

So dark amongst all the trees

All the graves surrounding me

Loves abandoned so now I see

Why its at one time abandoned both you and me

As all would gather in its gravened lot

To see that love was all weve got

But I sit alone with loving thoughts

As no one cares, theyve gathered not

Then from my thoughts I start to think

Of memories, of everything

Love was raised like me and you

A family like a dream come true

The same dreams love never knew

All the nights just sleeping through

Love grew up so perfectly

As every step it took was true

Then one day love got stepped on

Just like love has once stepped on me and you

Loves been patient Loves been kind

But everyone must break some time

All the yells and all the screams

All the words we never say

The time its parents woke to find that love had run away

Run away so very far so far inside the bleeding dark

And by the end, love surely had found the streets to start

All these things that love has done just to avoid a broken heart

So wild love ~ it surely was

All the reasons for what it does

And so those families have been destroyed

But you cant blame love for the way it was

The broken hearts that loves endured

The hearts disease that wouldnt cure

Only memories of being pure

Living life so unsure

Living through the darkest nights

For too much sun shined in the day

Blinded by what it thought was right

But forevers lie has gone away

And still it found a way to make some dreams somehow come true

Loves been a best friend like it once has been to me and you

Loves been there the whole way through

But now it seems were dying too

As love one day could not go on

Lifes a bridge that we cry upon

And now I cry for a love thats died

As all else just wonder why

Soon to follow all of you and I

From the bridge I stand with fallen eyes

Lifes too hard to survive

Without our love in our lives

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Subject : Autumn in June (in memory of my friend Autumn's mother who died in June some years ago)

Posted Date: : May 31, 2005 9:14 PM

Autumn in June

Subject : Roses and Violets

Posted Date: : May 31, 2005 8:58 PM

Roses and Violets

A rose soaked in red dripping once again

For theres so much love in my heart it cannot stay within

And you give the sun its shine which makes the sky so blue

The colors swathed upon the violet all because of you

So roses are so red because my heart has bled

A love such like a dream it has to be true

And the violets are like sky because of your loves shine

So much like the sun you keep on shining through

So when the lovers speak like all the lovers do

A phrase has always been always through and through

If they only knew that they only speak of you

The phrase would be for you no matter who its to

So let me say to you what you make so true

Its only because of you that

Roses are red and violets are blue

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Subject : To See the Sun

Posted Date: : May 30, 2005 6:44 PM

To See the Sun

And so they say you shouldnít love him

But little do they know

If they think words are stronger

Than the feeling in your soul

And you hear the angels speaking

As the heated breezes blow

They whisper words of freedom

But itís there youíll never go

And they say that you should leave him

Like he left you in the dark

Those whoíve never had this feeling

Deep within their hearts

And so you think youíre crazy

To stay inside your pain

But to abandon what you feel

Wouldnít make you sane

Thoughts crashing down upon you

Destroying all your mind

Like lightning, you hear thunder

His voice is not benign

But still it follows you

The noise that must define

Deep inside your memories

You find yourself confined

But itís the only place youíve ever loved

If only they could see

The sun peak out from behind the clouds

Your darkest destiny

Doesnít even matter when youíve felt a love like this

All your heart could shatter but still within your bliss

Youíll live until your dying day even if that day is now

Survived the storm of many storms to see the sun somehow

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Subject : Cupid Lies

Posted Date: : May 30, 2005 3:19 PM

Cupid Lies

Cupid has a broken wing- Hes lost his everything

He whispers all the love songs that he used to only sing

His feathers tattered violently and left so very bruised

Forced to look through blackened eyes

His eyes so black and blue

Feeling less alive than dead All of his life through

From losing oh so many fights that he never had to lose

He lies there next to you as he tells so many lies

But you seem to see through every one,

through the pain in his sweet eyes

His heart forever broken But never does he bleed

His dreams forever woken But never does he need

He comes to you at night To be right by your side

Loves you through his plight

With a past that hasnt died

And even when he leaves you,

He somehow stays inside

Leaves you there alone at night

Like he has his every time

His arrows no longer shoot

For theyre far too weak and frail

But hes cut through your heart still

As far as you can tell

His shadow casts the shape of his broken, lonely heart

As he walks away from you through all the bleeding dark

Still you yearn for his sweet touch

As your windows never close

One day hell fly back in you think

But for now he only goes

For he knows that love is painful

And still its all hes ever got

Your cupid is not perfect

For you love and he cannot

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Subject : Destiny and Fate

Posted Date: : May 19, 2005 12:41 PM

Destiny and Fate

My last name was destiny Hers was fate

So much brought us together

Much more would separate

Stolen kisses steal my heart

Stolen sun in the dark

The ends so much upon us,

Its like there was never a start

All I needed was something

All I needed was to make her mine

It seems all you need is what you cant have sometimes

All she had to do was smile to make me smile

And cry to make me cry

All she had to do was touch me to drive me wild

And live to make me die

She makes my heart stop Shes the only one who can

And with a tear and a drop, she can make it start back up again

So my tears Id always give but I would never cry

The years I had to live by someone elses side

The love I saw her give to another guy

The truth that we both lived seemed just like a lie

In my dreams we were together

As everything else would die

As all the world would crumble

Wed still smile eye to eye

But wed only long for another

In the dreams wed live awake

To save the hearts of all the others

Our hearts would have to break

So dream by dream, wed dream

For all our days and nights

As all we ever knew

Was that one of these dreams just had to be so right

Love it kills both you and I

And still it keeps us both alive

Every chance we ever take

Is the reason we survive

All through our days,

love wed love and love wed hate

My last name was destiny and hers was fate

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Subject : The Ladder

Posted Date: : May 14, 2005 3:16 PM

The Ladder

I used to have a scar For I once was torn apart

Torn apart inside the dark of what Ive never known

I used to know you not and though everything I sought

My search has only wrought to find myself alone

Then you mended all my pain but now its here again

This pain is all Ive got Its all Ive ever known

I never knew a seam left untouched could shatter

I never knew a dream could ever truly matter

But now my formers sadly just become my latter

As I find again its you that I dont truly know

My angels in a heaven too high for my poor ladder

And still Im climbing like theres really somewhere left to go

All my dreams are shattered All of me that mattered

Was swept away at sea in the undertow

Life is what we hold through past and future cold

Till we have to sadly let all the latter go

Im climbing and Im climbing, Im striving and Im striving

Till I just have to fall and let the ladder go

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Read What I Bleed

Life is a knife and my pen is a wound

You read that I die much too soon

All I need is the life that I never knew

I bleed as I try to write for you

All I need is a life to keep my sky blue

But the sun only sets much too soon

You kinda look like the shine that my heart needs

You read youíll never be mine from all that I bleed

Life is never so kind to give what I need

For you to be mine would be kind indeed

I write with a past that knows thatís not so

I write with a past that wonít let me go

I write with a past that cuts me so deep

Left hurt on the ground from love and its leap

I write with the blood thatís no longer in me

The words of my love are all you can see

As you read all my words As you read what I bleed

You'll never realize that you're what I need